I have been in a rut. I didn’t realize it right away, but for the past two to three weeks I have been in a rut. It’s something I can’t really put into words even though I am attempting to do so now.
At first I thought, maybe it’s my eating habits, or maybe it’s the feeling of not going anywhere in life, or maybe it’s the people I am spending time with or maybe, just maybe, I don’t know.
I hate saying that. I am such a type A personality, every move has to be planned and everything has a place. Lately the routine I created back in October is getting old.
4:30 -6:45 wake up- work out, work on content ideas
6:45-7:15 am get ready for work, leave for work
7:15-8:20 drive to work
8:30 – 5:00 work
5:00-6:00 work out
6:00-6:30 drive home
6:30-9:00 eat dinner, shower, work on a hobby (Manage Monday, To the books Tuesday, Writing Wednesday, Thoughtful Thursday, Photo Friday, Youtube, RxWrit, laundry, volunteering, LSAT study time, church, etc.)
Everyday is on repeat. The routine that once brought balance into my life and my many passions is starting to feel like groundhogs day.
What am I really doing? What goals am I getting closer to by doing these things or am I really getting closer to them? Am I unhappy? Am I going through a mid-life crisis (another one?) Am I missing something? What is truly “wrong” with my life?
Before I noticed that I was running on repeat, I was truly and passionately happy. So what happened? Am I just restless? Hungry for more? At times I feel like maybe I am doing to much and I am just feeling burnt out. But then when I do nothing, I feel that I am not doing enough, that I should be working towards my goals and helping others, and getting to where I want to be.
I don’t really know and I am sorry if you were expecting a grand answer but being the person I am, I can never sit in uncertainty for long so I sprung into action. Here are the action steps I took in the past week:
- Stayed committed.
Even though I felt like I was losing my mind I stuck to the plans that I had made with myself and others. I took a few days off my life and went camping with some friends, saw new places, and made new friends. But I still felt disconnected and out of place.
- Uped my meditation game.
I realized that I was getting to a great place with my meditation practice lately and then fell off. So I thought that maybe that was it, maybe I was out of alignment. So I started meditating again. I started my morning meditations, confidence boosters, clearing of the chakras, positive affirmations, and binaural beats. While these helped immediately after I still felt anxious. Meditation Yo Playlist
- Looked to my role models.
I started with my Need a Lift playlist on Youtube a collection of videos that have inspired me in the past. Some of these really got me into gear and made me get back into the planning mode which after all is the best thing for a type A personality to do. I also downloaded boss babe songs to get me in the mindset.
- Reassessed my goals and routine.
I looked at my routine and decided that this was something I could change even if my left brain was completely against it. Although we are creatures of habit, we need to feel inspired and the aspect of uncertainty can keep us on our toes. Changing my routine is so cringe worthy but it’s something I am willing to at least try. I also found an awesome article on pinterest that helped me figure out where my problem areas where, what I would want them to be instead and create an action plan to move forward. This one was the kicker and really got me inspired and motivated. How to determine your priorities in life to increase your happiness
5. Cut out
I decided to stay off Facebook for a while. I noticed that I was getting too interested in what everyone else was doing and too concerned with all the negativity that a cleanse was in order. I am also cutting things out of my diet because when I eat clean I feel like I have mental clarity as well.
I am feeling better than I have now that I have a plan of action but I still feel like something is off. Maybe its just growing pains or the ripple affects of a new chapter in my life. Whatever it is I am confident it will pass. After all, lesson number one in my 26 lessons is “Everything is temporary”.